A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 24

Intro is here. 

My favorite part of this calendar is that it acknowledges how silly and circuitous this quest has been.  FINALLY he looks in the living room and there he finds what we are defining as Christmas.

Apparently ,it has to do with decorating the tree and having five bears in the room.

It's always bugged me that this calendar poops out on the day before Christmas.  Shouldn't "He" bear find Christmas on Christmas, not Christmas Eve?  Could he not have looked just one more place in the living room?  Nope.  For reasons I bet have more to do with layout, our quest ends one day shy of the big day.

I hope you are about ready to find Christmas too.  I know I am.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 23

Intro is here. 

Sigh.

It's not going to be on the bookcase.  You'd be better off looking in those stockings.

Will "He" bear ever find Christmas?  Is he doomed to walk the crowded rooms of his house forever, spinning around and around the one room that has Christmas (or how this calendar defines Christmas) in it?  Stay tuned.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 22

Intro is here. 

You've been reading C. Clement Moore, haven't you?  Santa will indeed come down this chimney, but not for a few more days.  Find somewhere else to look.

(And based on the fact that we still have to do the 23rd, I bet you are going to look in this very room.)

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 21

Intro is here. 

Okay, again, not a bad place to look.  But it's not here either.  

I kind of like the portrait above the fireplace.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 20

Intro is here. 

Ah, we get ever closer to the Christmas date and "He" bear is wasting time in the kitchen!  It's not in the oven, it's not in the cookie jar, it's not going to be on the kitchen cabinet.  Guess what you dumb bear.  Based on the pattern we have established so far, if Christmas isn't in the first place we've looked in a room, it's not going to be in other places in the room.  Move on, "He" bear, move on!

Also, you seem to have a mouse problem. Unless you are okay with mice in your kitchen?

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 19

Intro is here. 

I'm all for looking for Christmas in the cookie jar.  Did "He" bear  not find it?  Maybe the cookie jar was full of cookies that were not specific to Christmas, like Oatmeal Raisin?

Keep looking little dumb bear.  

And it's probably not hygienic to stand on the counter top.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 18

Intro is here. 

I always thought this was the maid doing the cooking, like Alice in the Brady Bunch.  But maybe that's "He" bear's mother?  Anyway, you can probably find Christmas in the oven if you know when to look. Like now, where there are clearly cookies.

Also, don't look too far in that oven.  Maybe there's a wicked witch that wants to push you in.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 17

Intro is here.

(note stylin' red thread.)

Oh, "He" bear,  you are so very, very close. Don't you see it in the very next room?  It's the place you are going to find on December 24.  Why can't you see it now?

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 16

Intro is here. 

Who is that bear in the bathtub?  It looks exactly like our bear, minus the ribbon. Is he staring at his own self?  I'm so confused.  

I do like the rubber duckie, though.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 15

Intro is here. 

Again, a good place to look for presents, but not for Christmas.  Maybe if someone introduced "He", the bear on the advent calendar to the concept of a calendar "He" would have a better idea of time passing.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 14

Intro is here. 

Oh "He" bear, how did you get on the roof?  Should you really be out there, you with your tiny brain?  I can only guess that you are looking for Santa going down the chimney.  But it's too early for that.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 13

Intro is here. 

Ah-ha!  So now we know that rooms are assigned!  And "He" bear has been exiled to the attic.  And someone is sleeping in his bed, yet he doesn't seem concerned.  Also, no Christmas here. 

In one of the greater "No way!" moments of my life, I just Googled "A Beary Merry Christmas Advent Calendar"  It seems my loathed advent calendar is selling for a pretty penny on ebay.  Or at least being offered for a pretty penny.  The uncut fabric panels are selling for over $100.00 and even the finished ones are going for a lot of change.  There's one right now that is nicely quilted and very pretty and only $42.00.  It's missing the bear, though.  Another finished one is offered for $300.00 with 11 people watching. Who knew I was sitting on such a treasure trove of theoretical cash?

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 12

Intro is here.

Why hello random stray piece of thread.  Welcome to Decembear 12.

Again, odd place to look.  Maybe it's because they don't have any TV that "He" bear doesn't understand that Christmas can't be found in a toy chest.  Also, the 12-year-old boy in me is chuckling at their use of "chest."  Why not toy box?

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 11

Intro is here.

I like that they have a playroom, but only two bedrooms.  Counting "He" there are nine bears pictured on this calendar.  Nine bears, two beds?  The dollhouse isn't a bad place to look though.  Maybe the living room in the dollhouse is decorated for Christmas and "He" bear will think to look in his own living room.  Don't hold your breath, though.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 10

Intro is here.

 

Again with the generic.  The dresser drawers?  Just whose drawers are those?  Probably not "He" bear, because all "He" needs is a bow.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 9

Intro is here. 

 

I'm interested in the nonspecific pronoun.  "The" bedroom closet?  Just who is the usual occupant of this bedroom?  Does the bear family just rotate through the rooms, collapsing when they are tired?  Also, if they are bears, shouldn't they be hibernating?  I would think bears would be more into Easter than Christmas.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 8

Intro is here.

 

Maybe "He" Bear's family routinely hides things behind grandfather clocks?  And maybe "He" Bear is envisioning Christmas as small? Because Grandfather clocks are heavy and usually sit flush with the wall.  So I'm guessing what's behind the clock is a few dust bunnies and maybe a hole for the mouse that is climbing up the clock. 

Also, I'm enjoying "He" bear's levitating.  Cool powers, man.  If only you also had ESP.  Then you would look in the living room and we could be done with this farce.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 7

Intro is here.

Whew!  After seven days of wandering outside with only a bow to keep him warm, "He" bear finally makes it inside.

 You can't see this from just this picture, but this is where the architecture of this Beary Merry World starts to fall apart.  "He" bear walks in the door and is immediately transported to the second floor. These stairs are going to take him to the third floor (because apparently he can't see Christmas in room right next to this staircase).  But there are things on the first floor too.  How does one get there?

 

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 6

Intro is here

And here is where I lose all respect for "He" bear.

He has been looking on the front porch for an entire day and never thinks to look under the mat?  Also, there is no doormat pictured. You don't even get to move the damn bear much, just shuffle him to the other side of the porch.

 

I do find myself rather entranced with the gingerbread detail on the front porch.  Nicely done, unknown artist.

A Beary Merry Christmas: Decembear 5

Intro is here.

Much like my shoddy 12-year-old construction technique, some of these pictures are blurry.  Much like my lazy pre-adolescent self, I didn't go back and take better photos.

So the "He" bear has made it all the way to the door!  Hooray.  Because Christmas is probably right up the stairs and to the left.  Maybe even in the living room, the room where most people who celebrate Christmas put their tree.  

Also, I'm now noticing the impressive glue gun contrails hanging off the wreath at the door.  I guess my technique did not improve.